Mental Disengagement

"Eyes rubbed red, and puffy.
The thought of you, a song played recent.
Familiarity, recognition, a memory.
I'm left with nothing
but an intense feeling of want."

The extent of how tired I have been feeling can't even be encompassed by the sea. And yet I find the time and chance to smile, to lose breath and break out into silent laughter. Little things that are yet to even be found funny make me happy. It's completely inane. I'm thinking my body and brain must be compensating for something... some loss? some lack? Teetering along the lines of breaking down but not wanting to, of wanting to fight and push and pursue but also to stop and stay still, I must be turning to insanity. I don't want to just go through the motions again. I don't want to get lost between what's important and what's unimportant. Everything can just get so hazy sometimes. Why can't I just unconfuse myself?

Falling behind readings, getting the projects mixed up, neglected -- I feel like a cheater with my multiple relationships going haywire. It's chaos all around with my overwhelming planner staring back up at me. So many things to do and achieve, I don't know why I'm sitting here just staring at them. I know I've got to work, and yet...

... all I can think of is some beautiful distraction. And for a moment, I feel as if time can and is standing still.

Change is good

The short hair is back!
and so is the spunk.

Now now, I absolutely loved my long hair. And to be honest, this short haircut was an accident. I said "trim" to the stylist and.. I don't know, maybe he didn't hear or understand or something... or maybe his concept of "trim" is all different.

I needed a day or two to get used to it, but as you can see, it's turning out fine. Well, I think it is. Now I don't have to worry about fixing my hair after getting out of bed. Brilliant!

Test Anxiety

Tomorrow morning, my brother will take the UPCAT -- the University of the Philippines College Admission Test. I'm the one getting all the jitters. Lord, may he be guided well.