Dichotomies

It's very unnerving how some things can be the complete opposite of another. Last night, I went out with my friends to go dancing. Feeling good and looking good, we headed out into the night and had a blast moving to the music. It was a really fun experience and a great form of release for the stress and emotional imbalance I've been feeling. I was happy last night, and was glad to be out... but I was unaware of what was happening across the globe.

This morning, I found out that my boyfriend's grandma passed away on Thanksgiving day. Someone I care about really deeply was in pain and shock while I was dancing the night away... that's just... that kind of feels really wrong. And I'm feeling a pang of guilt. I wish I was there to comfort him. I can't forget what Rick told me though, this is what his father said: it was a day of thanksgiving and a day to be thankful for her life and to celebrate it rather than mourn her death. I couldn't help but nod in agreement. This is definitely a very beautiful way to look at his grandma's death. I wouldn't want it any other way.

There are a lot of things to be thankful in this life, mostly things that we tend to take for granted. Therefore, I think thanksgiving shouldn't be just on one day where the turkey is brought out and families come together... thanksgiving should be everyday. A daily celebration of even the tiniest things that usually go unnoticed.

I'm thankful for you, you, and you -- all those I love and are close to my heart. Know that I am grateful and happy to have all of you be a part of my life.

And here I was feeling lonely when I'm not alone at all.

I'll tell you everything I know

Every little thing I know.

Today ended with me feeling a bit empty, like all the laughs I laughed were empty laughs, that all the smiles I ever smiled were some masquerade. There's something that shakes me from within that keeps me unfocused. I find myself staring out into space. Preoccupation for distraction is something alright. I'm finding it hard to attain. Counting the days, I guess it makes sense. But I wonder why it has to be such a feeling - a feeling of wanting... of wanting to be somewhere else?

I feel lonely.

Mind is somewhere else again

My body feels weak. I don't know if it's physiological or psychological, but it just does. It's harder to get up in the mornings and it's harder to stay up during nights. My schoolwork is a mess and I can't seem to get a hold of my academic self. It's not like I'm not enjoying my subjects, I am! My subjects this semester are great! It's just that I feel tired. Like I have no energy half of the day. And this just won't work with the whole day schedule I have. Can't we just speed up time and get to December 20 already? I think that's where my mind is at right now. December 20. I want it to be break already.

And so yeah, here I am procrastinating when I'm supposed to be typing away for some papers. Booyah I'm such a loser. Bleh.

Woah

First day of class and I am SOOOOOO tired already. I ache all over thank you very much second semester of school year 2008 to 2009.

My body has yet to get used to waking up early.
My brain has yet to get used to thinking in study mode.
My energy has yet to adjust to a super whole day sched.
Speaking of schedules, don't talk to me on a thursday. It's my hell day.

Now for some other things.

If guys in table tennis were this hot, I think I'd be a tad bit more enthusiastic about going to training and other competitions.
Wouldn't you agree?

Show Me Some Legs

Finally, after putting behind me some requirements I had to accomplish, I can blog about this.
Last October 31 2008, I biked to Infanta Quezon with my mom, dad, and uncle Ricky. It was my first ever long distance ride and I am so happy that I was able to accomplish it! Biking for some 140-150km while going up and down three mountains, it was definitely tiring - no doubt about that - but it was also something else when I got to see the countryside and scenery while just pedaling on two wheels. My lungs get rejuvenated and I forget the torture my legs are receiving. A bike ride really gives off a different feel than when you're just looking outside a car window.
The ride (water breaks and lunch breaks included) took us about 11 hours - 6am to 5pm but pedaling wise was only about 6 hours. Taking in the fresh mountain air was amazing. We stayed a few days in Infanta. Paid our respects to our beloved dead and visited the living beloved as well. Of course, the beach was not forgotten. I was not going to allow a departure without a proper beach going! Actually, I didn't want to go home so soon. Life back there is just amazing. So laid back and refreshing and calming. Life goes on at a different pace - a nice beautiful pace at that. When I retire, I wouldn't mind retiring to a beach-side home there. I will definitely want a beach house. yupyup. (For photos of our stay, click here) Unfortunately, we biked back home on a Monday, November 3, 2008.
I never really imagined that I'd get there on only my bike. Up until now, I'm still in awe. I wish all of you could've seen what I saw. This event is definitely a repeat. I can't wait for next time!