Recently, I've just been like the weather - unpredictable.
Just the same as within a day there can be intense rain, then intense heat; within me, my emotions are sometimes high, sometimes low. My mood swings from side to side like a pendulum. Constantly changing. And I'm not making any effort to hide this. People can tell. They've been asking me what's wrong.
On some days, I get out of bed with a frown. Knowing this just makes me even more pissed and the day just goes downhill from there. I get a bad hair day, forget things at home, feel like I look like crap, then start to feel overwhelmed by the growing amount of school work and the diminishing amount of time.
It has become work for me, to actually feel a tad bit happy. That if I do find something that makes me forget the dreariness that my days have become, I find myself clinging on to it. I find myself wishing it never ends, wishing it real. Don't get me wrong though, my family will always be something that will make my days better. They have, without fail, always made me feel loved and cared for. I really am such a lucky person, I don't know why I find myself looking on the negativity of things.
I looked back at my old photos last night. Seeing myself from freshman and sophomore year revived a little bit of those old buried feelings. One thing I
can say though, at least I'm not as sad as I used to be.
Maybe I need a vacation.
Maybe I just have to let go.
I have to start looking at the brighter side of life.
Oh! I had pancakes for breakfast today.
That was nice.
