i've been telling myself that i wouldn't care. that i would be happy to just get a C. to pass, to make it, whatever. but then i guess i was just deceiving myself. today i found out that i'll be getting a C in my DS class. and! that i still have to take the damn orals for the finals. i mean, what's the use? i can't raise the grade to a C+, i need a 5 point something. to bring my grade down to a D i need to get some negative something. no point, no use. still.
i think i came out of that newly put up building a bit numb. not really knowing what to do. i had to walk to videocity because that's where dad was going to pick me up and we wanted to borrow some videos as well. i guess i was feeling a bit bad that others got higher than me. i know, i'm a bit competitive. it's just... okay, not to sound mayabang or anything, it's just that this damn thing is going to be my first C. ever. i got a C+ last summer for my Fil14 class. but i was thinking that was the last of it. i wasn't going to allow myself to get anything lower than that. but NO. nope! that didn't happen. because this subject of sir leland dela cruz is going to be giving me a stupid stupid C. grrr. i'm just so annoyed and frustrated that i can't seem to understand this damn subject. stupid developmental studies.
i thought i wouldn't care. but i guess i do. because i cried when i got in the car.
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