and now we come to a close

heh. enough about whatever was said before. grades? pfffft. whatever. school's out! for real now... since i've got my grades. and with my nearing departure for the most amazing vacation of my life, i can't help but think of the things i'll be missing here back home.

On April 20 i'll be missing the 10th Tour of the Fireflies. My annual 50km bike ride. My moment of pride because our whole family can finish it. my joy to think of the advocacy i'm promoting. my amusement to see the amazed and sometimes annoyed bystanders and vehicle drivers we pass by.

On April 23 i'll be missing my youngest brother Juancho's 14th birthday. The baby is not a baby anymore. I would've really wanted to be here for that. I love him too much to miss it. but i am anyways...

On April 24 i'll be missing another birthday! my blockmate Mark Alcantara's birthday. We've been through some things...

OMG on April 29! It's madame Frances Ledesma's 20th birthday!!! HOW CAN I EVER EVER MISS THAT?!? the day she no longer is a teenager... oh my. O_o

This summer's supposed to be for training. I have a dream of actually winning a set or even a game during the UAAP. This summer, i was going to go all out so that i can get back at all those who ate me alive during my first ever tournament.

On May 9-11 mihali will be having his Days With the Lord weekend. I wanted to be there for him. this is a special weekend and i would've wanted to be the one there beside him.

On the same span of days, May 9-11, is Erica's weekend. Yes, she's finally the rectora and i'm going to miss it. I know she'll be a great mommy though... no doubt about it.

On May 27 my most beloved cousin and bestfriend Erica will be migrating to the United States of America with her family. I wished to see her off. We'll both be in the same continent, the same U.S. of A., but we won't be seeing each other there. And i think this is the saddest of all.

I've got how many days left before i leave? FOUR. 4 days before i leave. I have 4 days to spend with Erica, to make the most of what i can - of what we can. The last time i seriously thought about her leaving, i cried. But i don't want to cry now. All i know is, my heart is dead set on being sad. It is sad because my world won't ever be the same without her here, with me and beside me, tangible and huggable. I'll miss her. Really. I'm already missing her. I can't imagine not seeing her randomly in school, i can't imagine not being able to just call her up on the landline, i can't imagine not having her just randomly passing by our house and leaving me messages because i was out, i can't imagine not spending those rare moments we have together, on my bed, just sleeping because we rarely have any of that now. A silent love. A silent bonding. We love each other without having to say it. We both know it. Nothing is ever going to be the same.