nurrr.

so many stuff to do, so many things to attend...

it seems as if i have no time to even rest. i miss my bed. even my sleep has to be scheduled. no more waking to the song of birds in the morning. no more waking to the sunshine that trickles through my windows... i miss that. i miss the rainbows my window panes would create on my walls and bed covers. those pretty little rainbows come around 8am if the sun is bright. i wish i could wake up on my own accord without any alarm jolting me out of my "nap" (i can't even call it sleep). on some days, i feel as if i haven't even woken up because my body so much wants to go back to sleep. extreme doses of coffee and chocolate don't do anything anymore. believe it or not, i have already experienced falling asleep while standing. and this is without me knowing it. i woke up to my left foot stomping the floor, apparently my body was falling to its left already. talk about fainting due to exhaustion and lack of sleep. good reflexes aneka, good reflexes.

i have been telling myself to take everything one at a time, one at a time. looking at my calendar and list of things to do, whew. it all seems super overwhelming. it is overwhelming. but i just keep on telling myself that i can do it. I CAN DO IT. i bet i even seem weird to others because i have to talk to myself out loud just to put my mantra into my head. the thing is, sometimes, i know what i have to do but i just can't seem to do it. like now, i am supposed to be doing my post laboratory report but i am too tired from training and the things i did today to make my brain work. it hurts. i even feel that i am getting sick. i forget to breathe so my head begins to hurt then before i know it, i feel like vomiting. the retching just wont stop. the pressure is attacking my subconscious. two more weeks before our UAAP week. just my luck, our UAAP weeks falls on my worse-than-hell week (i can't call it hell week anymore because it's hell all year round.) why must they torture us??? gah. oh well, again, I CAN DO THIS. ONE AT A TIME. time management. time management. oh time management my ass...i have been giving up my breaks just for the sake of studying and school work. sometimes i forget to even eat. most of the time, i don't have the time to eat. boo.

darn. i should stop procrastinating. i want those soft covers on my body and those feathers beneath my head.
i. want. sleep.
wish me luck.