You Are My Agonist Drug.

To get the things I can't get out of my mind, I shall write my 150th entry. I've been trying to get myself to write my part of our group paper in my Theology class, but there just was something else bugging at me that I couldn't get to what I had to actually do. Waiting and waiting, denying the fact that I'm waiting, making it an excuse that I'm just really tired and that I'd rather sleep instead, but jump out of bed with a tightening chest realizing that my computer went on standby and that there's a possibility that I'd not catch you, it's pretty much driving me crazy. Mondays. I thought we had Monday midnights. I remind myself that there are reasons, breathe in breathe out, and I wonder if you've read what I've written. It was raining pretty much the whole of Monday, and I had to bike to school, brave the rain, sweat in that sticky yellow raincoat of mine, and get the mud puddles splatter my legs. But I was happy. Or just alright, rather. Not ecstatic, not gloomy, just fine. I guess my subconscious was looking forward to something which is why it decided to keep my mood on a level. Tuesday and it's still cloudy. There's a big possibility that it would rain. One class. I've got one class today, at 12 noon. I don't want to go. But attendance, they say, makes my professor do magic on your final grade. It doesn't matter, I won't lose anything anyway. I might as well just go to class to get things off my mind. Physiological psychology, yay for all those neurotransmitters. I think I need a dose of Serotonin to keep my mood on a high. Or maybe a lack of it instead so that I can get insomnia and get all the things I need to do done and over with. Which is better?